With that in mind, I decided to tell y'all sooner...rather than later...that I'm going to take a Zumba Instructor certification course on September 13th.
It will be held in Woodstock, Georgia and lasts the entire day.
On the off chance that any of you want to come offer your "moral support" that day (i.e. make fun of me), start planning your trip now...maybe some of y'all can get together and carpool...or get a good deal on airfare.
Don't forget to bring your cameras.
Still photography is allowed.
No videos though...so just forget about putting video footage of my fat ass on YouTube.
The following is an actual email (ok...I DID change the names) that I sent to Little Pissy the other morning right after I woke up.
It's kinda long...you might want to go pee before you read it.
...and uh, yeah....this really IS how I talk...write...email....whatever...what y'all read here is just me being me.
"OMG! I woke up from the most bizarre and intense dream about you and "A"!
Y'all had been here visiting us. You had a baby girl (PRECIOUS...with big chubby checks...very happy and smiley all the time...dark hair...dimples what can I say? My dreams are very detail oriented? LOL) anyway....Oh! and it was this house, but it was on the beach. Guess if you're gonna dream~dream big! (funny how a phrase from "Juno" worked so well there)....it was like...if you looked out the French doors to the deck you could see the ocean. Very cool.
Ok......back to the dream.
It was a Sunday and y'all were packing up to leave. Stuff of yours was everywhere....spread around the house..and the baby's stuff too.
I'm in the den getting some of the baby's toys...
I run out to give you what I've found and y'all are in the car already (this driveway and neighbors...apparently the only upgrade in this dream was the ocean front view in the back) the baby is buckled into her car seat...everything! I was so upset! I was like: "Little Pissy! What's going on? You're leaving without saying anything? I want to see the baby before you leave!" you look frantic and upset and on the verge of tears, but don't respond. "A" looks straight ahead (y'all were driving your car, btw). I say "wait a minute...I saw a pair of your jeans in the hall...let me get them for you." You shake your head "yes"....I run back in the house. As I'm running to the hallway, I glance back out the front door windows and "A" has gotten out of the car and is putting on a pair of track pants over his shorts! HAHAHAHA!!!!!!! So freakin' WEIRD!
So....as I'm running down the hall, I hear the car door slam and your car take off!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I run back to the front door and see y'all drive away...the jeans in my hands. I see your long hair waving in the breeze of the open car window. I call your name. You don't look back.
I come back in the house to call you....there's a little black girl in a white cardigan standing on my back deck...about to knock on the door (I know! this is some "What Dreams May Come" kinda shit! All I needed was the long overcoat Robin Williams wore in that movie!) I go to the door...open it...ask her what she wants. She says, "Do you have any kids who can play with me?" I tell her "no" and the little heifer tries to walk in the door anyway! Evidently it's a tough neighborhood beach side! I tell her she has to go and kind of shove her out the door. See? I can be tough too! LOL
I call you on the phone (same one....not even in my dreams do I get an upgrade) you answer.....I'm all upset and almost crying...I say , "Little P! What happened? I have your jeans in my hand! Why did y'all leave like that?!?!?" you say "Mom, I'll talk to you later"....I say "Little P! is "A" THAT mad? so mad that you can't even respond?" you say "yes" then I say ...crying now "But I didn't get to see the baby before you left !"( apparently in my dreams...little black girls wear white cardis but my own granddaughter doesn't have a name!) I didn't get to hold her one last time, hug her, kiss her little chubby checks! " I'm full out really crying by now! YOU can drive off! But don't go without me kissin' on my baby!!!! LOL you say, "I'm sorry, Mom. Just mail me my jeans, please" huh?!!?!?
Then my stupid phone rings and wakes me up!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For real!
Shit!
Now i want to go back to sleep and find out what happens!
You KNOW I'm gonna change the names and blog this! It's too good not to! LOL
Love you!
Mom
p.s. that baby needs a NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha"
I want to thank all of you for the lovely, heartfelt comments you left on the picture post of my two daughters.
As y'all know~ normally I don't post pictures of them.
However, that particular picture is such an absolute favorite of mine that I really wanted to share it with all of you....the way that I share so much of the rest of my life with you.
For starters....just call me "Pissy". The "Big" is just to distinguish me from my youngest daughter who is basically a 28 year old smarter, prettier version of me. Ok then....I'm a Southern smart-ass, lets just get that out of the way right now. I've been described as grumpy, opinionated, "pissy" and funny. And that was by people who love me. Imagine what people who hate me say. Bitches....
