ebaby

I spent all afternoon yesterday working on my ebay listings.

I've been meaning to sell stuff on ebay since I quit working and just never got around to it.

Last week I posted a couple of things, and they both sold for way more than I expected them to~so YEA!

Now I've got the fever!

I took 40 pictures yesterday for my listings....then uploaded them...edited them....and did my listings.

No. I didn't use all 40 pictures.....that's just how many I ended up taking.

I know everything I list won't sell....and if it does, I might not get at much as I hoped to for the item. But the stuff is just sitting here at the house (or storage building) so what have I got to loose, right?

.....and in other shit that y'all don't care about~ I've decided that

this

will be my next cellphone wallpaper.

I love these little dudes.

*sigh*

I know.

I'm just a 14 year old girl trapped in the body of a 50 year old woman.


pssssstttt! Go buy some of my stuff on ebay so I can go buy some more stuff.

Wallpaper

This illustration is the new wallpaper for my cell phone.

To use one of Little Pissy's favorite phrases~It makes me happy! ;-)

....and it was beyond time to change from the Mickey Mouse Christmas wallpaper I still had.

I found this cool site where I downloaded this art to my cellphone for $1.99.

There are thousands of great images to select from.

Check it out.

Startmobile.com

You know you want some.....

My puppy slippers and I wish you all a
relaxing Sunday.

Rough day at the salon

Draw your own conclusions.....

Title:
"Little Red Riding Hood Gets Even"
Artist: Nancy Farmer

Tea Party in Hell

Picture it: me.....in First Baptist Church hell.

Ok....it was actually a bridal shower.

But it may as well have been the "fellowship hall" of Hell's First Baptist Church .

I know this because in my other life I was a member.

All right.....all right....stop laughing and keep reading.

Anyway.....this past Saturday afternoon I sucked it up (after much bitching), washed my hair, put on some make-up and some clothes that I haven't worn since I worked full-time, and took my ass to the bridal shower for the daughter of a colleague of Sweet Man's.

"Why?" You ask.....

Only because this colleague had come to a bridal shower for Gabelle. Who now owes me, by the way.

As I pull up in front of the house, I notice that none of the cars already parked in the long semi-circular drive-way or on the street were cute like mine. These were all "old lady" looking sedans in boring colors with a few SUVs dotted among them.

Bad sign.

I should have kept going.

I'm met at the door by one of the seven hostesses (who I later learned were all members of the mother-of-the-bride's bridge club.....another bad sign....people still play bridge?) who herds me and a few other guests straight to the guest book in a corner of the foyer, and from there directly into a large formal dining room.

I was actually looking forward to this part.

Food at these things is usually good.

Um....not this time.

On the beautifully appointed table were two cakes, a small plate of fresh strawberries and another small plate of cheese straws. For drinks, we had a choice of raspberry iced tea, coffee or water.

WTF?!?

These seven bitches could only come up with two cakes and a few strawberries?!?!?

Where was the table laden with finger foods that I was expecting??!?

"Well, shit!", I thought to myself as I looked for the plate with the biggest slice of seven layer chocolate cake, "I got dressed up for this?"

Next, we were led into a huge family room-slash-kitchen where we sat in a semi-circle and watched as the bride-to-be tore into a massive pile of gifts while trying not to untie any of the ribbons decorating the boxes (don't ask).

There were so many women packed into this room that they had to bring in folding chairs.

I did a quick look around and determined that the medium age of the attendees had to be 60.

I hadn't been surrounded by this much polyester, bad hairstyles and SAS shoes since the 80's.

At this point, I considered excusing myself early due to my allergy to poor fashion choices, but I wanted to finish my cake first.

I shouldn't have worried. These "hostesses" apparently had this bridal shower shit down to a science.

They had us "fed", the gifts opened and us out of there in an hour.

I know.

I was surprised too.

But mostly relieved.

I drove as fast as I could to my favorite barbeque place for some real food.

Damn cheap ass Baptist bitches!


*editor's note* No actual Baptists were insulted in the posting of this entry.

The internet makes my life easy

I was going to write you all personal "thank you" cards

for your lovely comments regarding my "royalness",
but then I found these....

Consider yourselves royally thanked.

*Edit!*

Here's the website for any of you who may want to order one of the f*ing cards!

I always knew I was royalty!!!

My peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Grand Duchess Pissy the Convincing of Peevish St Victor Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title*

and now it's official!

Isn't the "peevish" part just so me?!?!?

You may now address me as "GD" (for Grand Duchess) instead of "BP" (Big Pissy).

and of course I have jewelry to commemorate the occasion.....

C'mon....you know you're not surprised.

(Yes, that's me wearing my actual necklace.
No, I don't have a skin disorder.
It's called "having 50 year old skin")

*saw this over at Library Mama's :)

H E R O E S.....

is back tonight with a new episode (NBC, 9/8c)!

Yea!!!!

Little Pissy sent me this cartoon which I think is more descriptive of LOST than HEROES.

But I like it anyway. ;-)

On tonight's episode another is added "....to their ranks when onetime Doctor Who Christopher Eccleston appears-or rather disappears--as a man with the power of invisibility...." (source: TV Guide)

I can't wait!!!!
*************************************************************************************

and in totally unrelated news.....

Have y'all seen this?!?!?!? ---------------------------------------->

Men.

In leggings.

In public.

And not in a skating rink.

WTF?!?!?

Leggings don't look good on anybody, really.

Much less men.

Sadie Shakes

This is my grandpup, Sadie.
She's shaking Sweet Man's hand.
Isn't she sweet and smart?!?
(This picture was taken by De at Christmas.
De, thanks for sending it!)

Sorry I haven't posted much this week.

I've been spending most of my on-line time looking at wedding venues and corresponding with Little P about wedding details. The rest of the time I've been on the phone with wedding-related phone calls.

Things are starting to come together with regards to the wedding and it's so exciting!

Y'all know I'll post about it as much as I can when I can.

Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend! :)

Recipes....

Y'all wanted the recipes~so here they are!

Hope they make sense.

(Especially the one for the baked potatoes, because it's written exactly how Sweet Man explained it to me.

The potatoes are his thing.)


If not~leave me a comment and I'll try to explain myself better.

Chicken Tetrazzini

1 stick butter or margarine
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 small can sliced mushrooms~drained
1 pink of sour cream
1 pound linguine noodles~cooked according to package directions and drained
2 cups cooked chicken~chopped
2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese

in large saucepan~combine cream of chicken soup and cream of mushroom soup with 1 stick of butter. stir over heat until smooth.

add cooked chicken, sour cream and mushrooms .....mix well.

add cooked noodles

pour mixture into 9 x 12 baking dish

cover mixture with shredded cheese

bake 45 minutes at 350 degrees

Baked Potatoes

wash potatoes

poke holes in potatoes with fork

coat potatoes with butter or margarine

roll potato in kosher salt

slice potato in half

put thick slice of white onion between two halves of potato

wrap potatoes in foil

bake at 450 degrees for 1 1/2 hours or until tender

My weekend: Sharp Objects and out-of-town guests

No.

I didn't use any sharp objects on my out-of-town guests.

Though the sixth time my sister-in-law asked me when we'd gotten the "poodle" (she was referring to our Maltese, Momo), I would have happily used a sharp object on her.

The "Sharp Objects" I'm referring to is actually the title of a novel I read this weekend.

I'd read several reviews of this novel ~all of them excellent~and knew it would be something I'd like.

We also cooked and ate way too much all weekend: babyback ribs, ribeye steaks, potatoes slathered in butter, rolled in kosher salt and stuffed with onion slices before baking.....yeast rolls, chicken tetrazzini.....peach cobbler.....

I'm STILL full and unable to form a coherent post with regards to my thoughts on this book.

The following "reader review"~taken from Amazon.com ~sums up my feelings rather well....

"A book like this is so hard to explain and really hard to review because while I LOVED it, it might be the kind of book that only a certain kind of person can like. The main character is a beautiful self-destructive woman, the kind of heroine I personally love, but am not sure others would. She's screwed up and has a horrifying relationship with her mother. She returns to her home town to report on a series of child murders and becomes involved with the investigation even as she gets sucked back into her mother and half-sister's demented worlds. This book has deep dark rich atmosphere--dark woods with secrets, heavy humid summer heat, cruel spiteful girls, references to wicked witches, tragic beautiful boys, adolescent eroticism, and always a pervading sense of evil. It's always there and I loved it, embraced it, couldn't stop reading it. Definitely worthy of a good read. Get yourself a blanket and read it on a dark winter afternoon."




Go here for more information about the book and reviews by authors such as Stephen King (hint: he loved it too!).

Oh, and if anybody wants my Chicken Tetrazinni recipe, let me know.

It's sooooooooooooo good and soooooooooooo easy!

Bitch (pin)

I don't have much to say today.

I know.

Hard to believe, huh?

I'm just over-run with wedding discussions and searching for wedding sites and looking at wedding magazines and wedding websites.

It's pretty much all-wedding-all-the-time around here.

But I do have a few fun things to share today.

For example~

My rhinestone "Bitch" pin.

Is it not a thing of beauty?

You can read all about the first time I saw one here.

One of my fave birthday cards.

I love me some Anne Taintor.

Thanks, De!

I want this t-shirt.

It's two shades of pink, it's fitted and it has a cute girl on a pink scooter.

What's not to like?

I enjoy being a girl.....

With all the excitement of my Cirque du Soleil experience,
I failed to tell y'all about the prezzies
I received for my birthday
and Christmas
that came from my
Sephora "Wish List"

How could I forget?!?!?

This is the Benefit gift pack with all the favorites...

Benetint, Bad gal Lash and Dandelion...a powder to give you a "glow".
(and God knows I need one)

Also pictured is the three pack of Stilla lipgloss.
(I seldom leave the house without lipgloss.)

This is a close-up of the mascara just because it's the coolest
tube of mascara I've ever seen.

I received these BLISS products in a really cool gift boxed set that looked like a little suitcase.

(There is no such thing as too much lotion in my world.)

Le sigh.....
The Mothership

(Gabelle took this photo of the Sephora store ~just for me~
in NYC when she was there in November.)

Clarification and retail therapy

What a combination, huh?

But I need to clarify a point from yesterday's post about the renters.

Yes, they are renting the house.

However, these are the same people who were originally going to buy the house.

The lease agreement states that they will buy the house once they obtain financing.

I spoke to our real estate agent today, and the soonest the renters will be able to begin the process of buying the house is March.

So......we're going to hold out until at least March and see what happens then.

I appreciate all of your comments and I'll keep y'all posted on how things turn out.
************************************************************************************
Now on to retail therapy.....

I've been looking and looking for new lamps for the den and I made a MAJOR score today at Pier One.

I bought two of these lamps














for the grand total of $43.00!!!!

I KNOW!

They originally retailed for $100.00 EACH. They were both marked down to $50.00 each. They were the last two in the store. One lamp had 2 small dents in the back of the base. The other had one small dent. The manager took ANOTHER 50% off the lamp with the two dents and 30% off the lamp with one dent. Then I had a coupon for $20.00 off a purchase of $50.00.

I restrained myself from doing the happy dance right there in the store.

(But it was hard.)

Anyway.....the lamps look awesome in my den right now, but will really pop when I (read: Sweet Man) paint the den bluish/gray and I hang my textile art.

You know I'll post pictures when it all comes together.

Try to contain your excitement until then.


*EDIT*
Y'all HAVE to go by Cat's place and see what she has posted today.
Let's just say she has given me the body I've always wanted...... ;-)

&%*$&!!#*@!

I am truly aggravated.

For the second time in the four months since our tenants have been renting our old casa, there has been a problem with the rent.

1. I had to go to the house Friday to get the rent because they neither showed up with it or mailed it to us.

2. Took the check to their bank this morning to cash rather than deposit it in our account due to.....

3. Another of their checks bouncing previously.

4. At their bank discovered that there was only $253.00 in their account. Rent is A LOT more than that. After some creativity on the part of the tellers, the check was cashed.

This shit should NOT be happening.

I don't like playing "Rent Roulette" every month with these people.

If I have to go back to work full-time to make that mortgage payment after I kick their asses out, I'm gonna be REALLY pissed!

Therefore.....I need

It's always slow around here on the weekends....

so I bring you more....

we've come to the conclusion that Momo has never met a bed
(and pile of pillows)
he didn't like.

here he is on the guest room bed....
(I love this picture)

~and~

if you look really hard you'll see him among
the pillows on our bed.

Hope all of you are taking a page from Momo's book this weekend!

Top two moments in DNA testing.....

(I was gonna do three, but it was a slow day. )

Young black guy comes in alone....very friendly...chatty.....

I prefer people with this type of attitude over the ones who act like assholes, so I was friendly in return.

After this guy sits down and as I begin completing his paperwork, he says, "Can I ask you a question?"

Thinking he wants to know when his results will be back or how much the testing is going to cost, I say "Of course. What do you want to know?"

He says, "What are you mixed with?"

Over the years I've been asked more times than I can count~ "What are you?" in one form or another, but never "what are you mixed with?"

My response to him: "I'm not mixed with anything. I'm a 100% American of Mexican descent."

We continued to chat about my being Mexican-American and his difficulty in visiting with his child who was born on "6-6-06....so he has the mark of the beast...." (his words, not mine).

Then this guy wants to know if he can ask me another question.

How could I resist?

So he says, "How old are you?"

I reply, "Fifty."

He says, "For real?!?!? I never would have guessed! You've really done the maintenance!"

Are y'all as shocked as I was that he was even familiar with that term in regards to a woman's looks as well as actually saying it out loud?



Young woman comes in with her child.

The moment this woman begins to speak I remember her.

She's been in before.

She's mildly mentally retarded (seriously).

The woman rambles on and on while I complete her paperwork and asks me if I remember her from when she brought her other child in to be tested a few months ago.

I tell her I do remember her and ask if she was satisfied with the results.

She says, "Yeah, but I'm kinda worried about something."

I say, "What's that?"

"I just found out that my other baby daddy and this one's (pointing to the child with her) daddy are cousins. What does that make my kids?", she asks.

"Sisters", I tell her.

"Oh. O.k. Ya know.....those guys never told me they were cousins.....or I never woulda done it with both of 'em......and now they're in the same prison......hope they don't kill each other when they find out I done it with both of 'em."

Ummmm.....I didn't bother to tell her that they probably already know.

Snaps!

I'm so excited I can't stand it!

I'd discovered these cookies a couple of months ago at TJMaxx (in their gourmet food section) and loved them.

I loved them so much, that I ate almost the entire can on the drive home.

What?

It was a small can!

Anyway.....I looked for them every time I went to TJ Maxx, but never found any more.

Then Suzie Q and I went shopping Dec 22nd.

We were in Dillards....and what should be on display near the elevator?

*insert choir of angels singing*

I was thrilled beyond compare.

As I said to Suzie Q...."I thought I'd never see them again!"

Then I saw the price....$20.00 for a one pound can.

WTF?!?!

I couldn't bring myself to pay that.

Suzie could tell how much I wanted them and offered to buy them for me.

Now that's a true friend.

But I couldn't let her do it.

I knew they'd go on sale after Christmas.

Sure enough.....I went to the mall yesterday and they were 75% off!!!!

Yipee!!!!!

I bought four cans for the price of one!!!!

here are three of them on my kitchen counter

here is a close-up of the actual "tasty shortbread cookie blanketed in powdery sugar....inside discover a delightful little snap of peppermint....."

and not only are they tasty, but isn't that the cutest can you ever saw?!?!?

scroll back up and look at it again in case you forgot....

Oh!

and

Here is their website.

*sigh*

I love a bargain.....

She said "yes"!

Little Pissy is engaged!!!


The proposal took place on New Year's Eve on the slopes of Park City, Utah.


Here is a photo of her big ass ring with some scenery in the background.

Being an experienced "Mother of the Bride",

I went out and purchased this magazine today.

No, they haven't set the date.

I just like to get a head start on these things.

Another shot of Little P's big ass ring just because it makes me happy.

Hey!

I'm the Mother of the Bride.

I'm allowed to be obnoxious!


BWHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Seriously, we are thrilled for Little P and "A".
They're a perfect match and we're so happy for both of them!