I hate Blogger: Fall Festival Edition

Damn it! Even in my drug induced haze, I managed to churn out a post and god damn Blogger ate the thing! Shit!

Anyway.....after all my whining of Friday night/Saturday morning....I woke up at 7:30 feeling somewhat better and decided to go to the Fall Festival here in Hell as planned.

Going and partaking in the festivities for 4 hours Saturday was a mistake.

I paid for it in back pain not unlike labor pains......only without that precious baby being handed to you when the pain finally stops.

Since Saturday evening around 6 p.m. I've been knocked out on a new combination of drugs. Seriously...I doubt that I was awake for a total of 3 hours all day Sunday!

I'm still in bed, but my back feels better today.....still hurts....but not nearly as bad.

Before I pass out again....her are some pictures I took.

What other town do you know of that has a memorial
to an insect?

Me and Mr. Pig.....of Piggly Wiggly fame...

I know! There is a certain irony in the fact that I ate
a BBQ sandwich for lunch right after
I posed with Mr. Pig.

I was trying to get a picture of the candy corn balloon but the
wind failed to cooperate.

Who doesn't love a choo-choo?

Strike a pose....

I LOVE how her balloon matches her outfit!

I can almost guarantee you that no one who actually attended
Auburn University would own one of these hideous things!

One of my favorite color combinations.
Where has all the ric-rac gone?
You just never see it anymore...

This thing took my prize as "Ugliest Item for Sale"
Seriously....who would store their toilet paper in that?

Aqui en la casa, we store ours in a cabinet.....
but maybe I'm just old-fashioned that way...

See the butterfly that landed in the lower right
hand corner of the cone?

'maters, pumpkins and gourds....

Yes, I look messed up as I eat my home made ice cream
I was on drugs, remember?

*&%$#!!!?$&*%#@ PAIN and no washing machine

Methocarbamol (500 mg) is the piece of shit, doesn't do a god damn thing muscle relaxer that doctor prescribed for me.

If it weren't that Sweet Man teaches with the Doctor's dad and has known the Doctor since she was 3 years old, I'd be calling her ass at home right now so she could call in some REAL motherfu*king drugs for me!

There mere fact that I'm posting at 3:32 a.m. while leaning against a heating pad tells y'all exactly how well the shit works!

And this is on top of a Klonopin and a Prozac!!!!!

Not only is my back not feeling better....I think it actually hurts more than it did before I went to the doctor! FU*K!!!!!

Last night it hurt so bad that I could neither stand, sit or lie down without being in pain.

I actually cried...it hurt so bad.

Yes, I'm a big baby!

Don't act like you didn't know!

....and to literally add insult to injury....we've been without a washing machine for a month.

I know.

The shame has been such that I couldn't bear to admit it to y'all out loud.

But now that I feel like shit and have already told y'all that I cried like a little girl~I figure~what the hell....I have no pride left anymore.

So...yeah.....we schlep our clothes, towels, sheets, dog bed covers, rugs, blankets, etc. to the laundromat once a week or so.

Why have we been without a washing machine for a month, you ask?

Because our washing machine is a motherfu*king KENMORE from Sears!

NEV-ER buy a Kenmore.

N E V E R!

This one came with the house or we wouldn't have it.

No one in Hell repairs the god damn things and the nearest Sears store is in Dothan....half an hour away. Of course those bastards only come to Hell every 2 weeks to do repairs. Factor in that they come and "diagnose" the problem and then order the parts and you have Pissy at the laundromat for a month!

Oh!

and then the parts come in by Pony Express....so it's another two weeks before the thing might get repaired.

The ONLY reason I haven't just dragged it out to the fire pit on the deck, poured gasoline on it and lit a match is because it's still under warranty.

...and I don't want to burn the house down.

p.s. On the off chance that you didn't notice: I cuss a lot when I'm pissed off and in pain and without a washing machine. It's not just that particular trifecta that causes me to cuss a lot....it's just the one in place right now.

Just wanted to be clear on that.

The Needle and the damage done.....

Nah....I'm not referring to that old Neil Young song...although 'Harvest' is one of my favorite albums...


I'm referring to the fact that I fu*cked up my back and....even after spending yesterday flat on my back.... on a heating pad...taking Alieve every 4 hours....I still had to go to the doctor today and get a shot.

In.

My.

Back.

Hello!

Lifting my overstuffed suitcase into the trunk of my car on Monday was soooooooooooo not worth this!

I also have a prescription for a muscle relaxant and an anti-inflammatory.

Oh.

And orders to stay out of the gym for a week....

The doctor said that doing an hour on the treadmill (at an average incline of 4) on Tuesday afternoon didn't help anything......

Damn it!!!!

You try to be healthy.....and this is what happens!

...and I don't even like birds!

You Would Be a Pet Bird

You're intelligent and witty, yet surprisingly low maintenance. You charm people easily, and they usually love you a lot more than you love them. You resent anyone who tries to own or control you. You refuse to be fenced in. Why you would make a great pet: You're very smart and entertaining Why you would make a bad pet: You're not interested in being anyone's pet! What you would love about being a bird: Flying, obviously What you would hate about being a bird: Being caged

What Kind of Pet Would You Be?

Ya know...a lot of this is true of me....I AM witty...but as y'all know~NOT low maintenance

I DO charm people easily....but I don't agree with the rest of that statement.

The part about resenting people who try to own or control me~VERY true.

As for the rest of it:

I try.....

True

True

~and~

True

More Reuben cuteness!

Reuben's favorite place to be is on Little Pissy's shoulder while she's sitting in bed on her laptop.

See?

I KNOW!

Beyond cute!

I was lucky enough to be on the receiving end of some of Reuben's attention.

.....and here is where Reuben takes it a step further
and just goes ahead and sits on my head.

See how much I love y'all????

I posted pictures of myself where I look like shit just so you could
see Reuben cuteness!

You can thank me in comments.

Pumpkin Patch Pix

This was the best pumpkin patch!
It was really so much more...as you can see by their sign ....

I was terribly disappointed that we didn't get to ride this train....

Hay ride!

I loved the gingham letters on this sign.

They ruined it for me with the duct tape. :(

Corn diving!

....and no one even went near it...from what I could tell

this was probably my favorite picture of the day
(and I took over 60)

I broke rule #8.

Pigs painted for the pig race.
Green pig won.

another favorite picture.

Decatur: Day One

That's right, Kats and Kittens....I'm back in Atlanta! Woot!

Got here today....staying at GAbelle's...hopefully going on a field trip with her class tomorrow to.......wait for it:

A Pumpkin Patch!!!!

It has a maze and everything! I'm so excited! Although....there's a 60% chance of rain....and if it rains....the trip will be canceled. Bummer!

Here is a small sampling of what I've done since I arrived....

ate dinner at Little Azios
rigatoni with a spinach sauce....tas-tee!

went to this cool cd store right next to the restaurant...

I love this wall....
while I was there I bought a used CD of
'Austin Powers...The Spy who Shagged Me'

Don't judge!
It's good music to listen to while I trudge on the treadmill!

This was one of those "you had to be there moments"...
but was funny as ....well...hell.

My son-in-law took this picture of me and GAbelle
when he looked at it on my camera
he said,

"Have you been tanning?"

I said,
"Yes"

He said,
"I thought so.
You look like a clay pot"

GAbelle and I immediately burst into hysterical laughter right there on the patio
of Little Azio's.

Like I said: you had to be there.

Octoberfest in Hell

I've been to the biggest Octoberfests of them all.....yeah...the one in Munich.

The scene there was pretty much like the one pictured above.

Then...*sigh*..... there's the one I went to Saturday night.

It was held at the home of a couple of faculty members....both nice people.

However....it was literally my version of hell.

Picture it:

I was the youngest one there by at least 1o years (coolest by 20 years).


House decorated in what I'll refer to as a "country/fusion" mix of horrible colors, rag dolls (yes! actual rag dolls!) and a melange of family photos on the walls of every room. All in different frames. Some with typed labels under the glass to identify the people in the photos. (Kill me now!)

Football on television in BOTH rooms

No tasty snacks

Women wearing 'mom' jeans and/or polyester as part of their ensemble.

Football on television in BOTH rooms.

Did I say that already? Well, that's because it bears repeating.

I don't even watch football on television at my own house...where we have two flat screens in beautifully decorated rooms...but I'm gonna watch it on a 19 inch t.v. in a room decorated with birdhouses, rag dolls and three different colors on the wall? With a bakers rack blocking one side of the French doors?

I don't think so.

It was so bad, that before half time, Sweet Man came up to me and whispered in my ear:

"I owe you big time for this."

Ummmmm....Ya think?!?!?!?

p.s. I'm just now getting around to posting about this because it's taken me this long to get over the shock of actually having been there. ::shudder::

p.s.s. Yes, I'm a bitch about stuff like this. Don't act surprised.

It's Friday, right?

The days tend to run together for me lately.

I think it's due to exercise-induced exhaustion.

I realized yesterday that I hadn't taken a day off from working out for an entire week!

That's right.

This old broad had worked out 7 straight days....sometimes 2 hours a day.

No wonder my ass was/is exhausted!

Soooooooooo.... I took yesterday off and then....like a rebel...I skipped the two classes I had planned to attend at the gym today....'Spin' at 8:15 followed by 'Body Sculpting' at 9:30.

I DO plan on going to the park and walking 5 miles, but they'll be slow miles with no running.....and I'll enjoy it because it's an absolutely gorgeous day here in Hell.

I think I just need to get out of the gym for awhile....or at least until Sunday.....when I have my next session with Suzie...and then again Monday morning....when I have another session with Suzie.

Oh!

here are Week 4 progress pictures......

shoulders.....

arms.....
if you squint really hard and tilt your head a little to the left
you can almost see some definition.

side view
the lighting is really bad in this room
...but I think I look about the same

front...same as side
bad lighting...
not much difference
guess a half an inch doesn't show up much...

I'm off to the park!

Hope everybody has a great weekend!

Reuben's Winter Wardrobe

On the off chance that you haven't had your daily dose of "cute" ,
here are some pictures of Reuben in his recently purchased fall/winter wardrobe.

Soon Reuben will have his own rolling suitcase.

He IS one of us, after all.

Brown "sherpa" lined wool coat for those chilly Atlanta days....

Little Pissy is hoping it will be cool enough at the Ole Miss/Auburn game
for Reuben to wear this tailgating.

War EAGLE!

I LOVE this sweater!

and now....

I've saved the best for last.....

TA-DAH!!!!!!

I know....go ahead and say it:

Cutest. Puppy. Ever.

Bullets......

Because my arms are too weak too type much....

Since my last post I have done the following:

* a cardio workout (designed by Suzie) on the treadmill....killer hour...but great workout (Saturday)

* a total body workout with Suzie yesterday.....again...killer hour.....

*found out after body assessment, that I've lost one inch in my arms and one half an inch in my thighs....I'm happy...really...I'm just too tired to express how happy I truly am....

*full body workout with Suzie again this morning....two words: walking lunges

*followed by an hour on the treadmill ..... with the incline varying between 2 and 5

*managed to avoid getting beat up by the Honduran (is that the right word?) women who work out with the teeny Honduran trainer. They scare me. But that's a post for another, more energetic day.

Just know that they look sort of like thisonly less friendly.

Only 85%?!?!?!?

You Are 85% Bitchy

Ouch, you've got a heart of steel, and you don't mind throwing out cutting insults to whomever you hate. Those who know you well know not to mess with you. And those who don't know you well are plain scared of you!

How Bitchy Are You?

Damn it!

Don't tell anybody how low I scored on this.

I have a reputation to maintain.

Adventures in DNA testing: Oct '07 edition

Things I have experienced while DNA testing this week:

*Various polyester clad Coffee County DHR workers being hostile to me when normally they're quite nice. Bitches!

*Two different 20-something guys telling me I "look good".


One had teeth like this.....



the other had bling like this.....


(yeah....I attract the hot ones, don't hate!)

*Resorting to using a computer at the public library in Ozark today to check my email because Dale County DHR won't let me touch a computer in their agency FULL of freakin' unused computers. Oh, the humanity!

*3 different DHR workers telling me I'm too skinny.

*One DHR worker trying to force feed me "dipped Oreos" in an attempt to "fatten me up".

*Cruising the aisles of the Ozark Wal-mart for an hour without buying a thing because there is nowhere else to go in Ozark.

(It's even worse than Enterprise.)