I'm feeling soooooooo attractive right now.....

'cuz my ass is like
a sweet little peach
compared to
this....

Mr. Mandingo makes margaritas...

I'm sure it comes as no suprise to any of you
that Mr. Mandingo was the hit of the
Cinco Party

here he is~behind the bar
mixing margaritas

Mr. Mandingo had quite the attitude tonight.

He refused to be photographed wearing the sombrero I had for him.

*sigh*

I think his popularity is going to his head.

Cinco De Mayo Sampler

I know.

Y'all are tired of hearing about it.

But you had to know I would post something about it, right?

I'm pissed, actually.

I had several really cool t-shirts picked out to post, but wasn't able to make it work.....

Except for this one

Corny, I know. But still funny to me...

and c'mon.....

who doesn't love a chihuhua in a serape?

Then I found these shoes.....

I can't tell y'all how dissappointed I am that I didn't find them sooner.

I'd be sportin' 'em at my party tonight.

I could've used this book too.....

I'm sure there are words in there I've never heard of ......

....and just where was this Barbie when I was a child?!?!?!

You just knew Disney would get in on the act, didn't you?!?!?!?!

But at least they gave 'Tink' a J-Lo ass!

HAPPY CINCO, Y'ALL!!!!!

OH. MY. GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WARNING!!!!

THIS POST IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART!

I don't know what I've done to deserve this.

I know I'm a bitch.

I know I make fun of people.

I know I can be mean.

But really......

Was I that bad?!?!?!?!?

This is not my toilet.

I wish it were.

At least that way I would have seen the frog

before I sat my ass down on the toilet seat!!!!!!!!

ARRRGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

You read it right.

I'm sitting there, taking care of "business", reading my Oprah at Home magazine (her freakin' Hawaiian house on the cover).....when all of a sudden I hear this "plop".

And it ain't a plop that came from me, if you know what I'm sayin'....

*wiping my "self" as fast as possible and jumping away from the toilet*

(yeah, this chubby chick can move when confronted by unknown objects in the toilet bowl).

There is a motherfuckin' FROG in my toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and it won't flush away!!!!!!!!!!!

AIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

Excuse me.

I have to go take a clorox bath now.......

Adventures in DNA collections.....

Multiply the number of people in this
illustration by 5....

add to that number 3 prisoners...

...that's how many people I tested today.

I went through an entire box of rubber gloves.

In conclusion.....

people breed like rabbits.

Tastefully Tacky T-shirt Tuesday: T_cole edition

Do Cole (and her hubby) know me or what?!?!?I. LOVE. IT!!!!!

For Cole's hubby :)

****note to Cole's hubby****
Just wanted to say "thanks again" for my t-shirt!
It's soooooooo me! ;-)
Sorry this picture of me isn't better.....

but this is what a 49 year old woman looks like after she's been collecting DNA samples from welfare folks all day long!

*hugs*

~Pissy

Oh Happy Day!!!!

The absolutely adorable baby pictured at right is
Little Pissy when she was just a year old.

No. Today isn't her birthday.

That's July 7th. She'll be 24.

Shut up.

I know I'm old.

Anyway, today is a happy, happy day en
la Casa de Pissy because today is Little Pissy's first day at her first full-time-great-benefits-good-paying-JOB!!!!

Can I get an Amen?!?!?!!

Now, y'all don't get me wrong.

Little Pissy has always worked. Both my girls have.

But Little P finished her grad school course work in December. This semester she's been doing an internship at thisto-remain-nameless-corporation ~until this past Friday. They loved her and her work so much that they created a position for her; which she began today.

Thursday, May 11th, she'll walk across the stage at the coliseum at Auburn University to receive her Masters in Communications.

Yes, I'm bragging.

I think that's part of my job as a mother.

*sigh*

My work here is done.

Carry on......