WARNING!!!!
THIS POST IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART!
I don't know what I've done to deserve this.
I know I'm a bitch.
I know I make fun of people.
I know I can be mean.
But really......
Was I that bad?!?!?!?!?
This is not my toilet.I wish it were.
At least that way I would have seen the frog
before I sat my ass down on the toilet seat!!!!!!!!
ARRRGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
You read it right.
I'm sitting there, taking care of "business", reading my Oprah at Home magazine (her freakin' Hawaiian house on the cover).....when all of a sudden I hear this "plop".
And it ain't a plop that came from me, if you know what I'm sayin'....
*wiping my "self" as fast as possible and jumping away from the toilet*
(yeah, this chubby chick can move when confronted by unknown objects in the toilet bowl).
There is a motherfuckin' FROG in my toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and it won't flush away!!!!!!!!!!!
AIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
Excuse me.
I have to go take a clorox bath now.......
I'm sitting there, taking care of "business", reading my Oprah at Home magazine (her freakin' Hawaiian house on the cover).....when all of a sudden I hear this "plop".
And it ain't a plop that came from me, if you know what I'm sayin'....
*wiping my "self" as fast as possible and jumping away from the toilet*
(yeah, this chubby chick can move when confronted by unknown objects in the toilet bowl).
There is a motherfuckin' FROG in my toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and it won't flush away!!!!!!!!!!!
AIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
Excuse me.
I have to go take a clorox bath now.......
OMG!!! That is unbelievable!!!
ReplyDeleteDid you ever get the frog out?
Where the hell were you? At work? You said it wasn't "your" toilet, so did I miss something... I'll go back and re-read the entry.
ReplyDeleteI would probably have nightmares for weeks after something like that!
pud: I KNOW!!!! Sweet Man came home and opened the lid and left the room. Later he found the frog on a wrought iron decorative thingy in the bathroom....sucker had blended right in....
ReplyDeletekc: AT HOME!!!! I was violated in my own house!!!!
I am currently having waking nightmares.....
I think I need a Xanax!
Jaws: EXACTLY!
don't tell me the name of the movie!
I'm freaked out enough already. :(
kc: I meant that picture wasn't of my toilet. I just used it to give y'all a "visual"....
ReplyDeleteEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
ReplyDeleteha ha ha. Weeeeeeee he he he he
ReplyDeleteOMG, that's The FUNNIEST POST I HAVE EVER READ> EVER.
he he he he eh ehe he
We get them a lot in Darwin. Some a lot bigger too.
ReplyDeleteThey are very cold and clammy if they launch themselves on to you.
It's also a good place to be if that happens, you tend to empty your bowels in a hurry just before you disappear over the horizon screaming.
I'm not laughing with you so much as I'm laughing at you. That's freaking hilarious. My kids would probably want to keep it as a pet.
ReplyDeletethat is freaking hilarious! although i'm glad it wasn't me. :)
ReplyDeleteif it makes you feel any better, i once was talking to a co-worker, and a fly flew into my mouth. i was so surprised that i swallowed him! talk about keeping listerine in business.
So did this frog actually touch your "lilly pad?"
ReplyDeleteThat's wild. I was confused too. So it happened at home, but that's not your toilet, so you actually found a picture of someone else's toilet with a frog in it? A. I can't believe you didn't take a picture of your frog, and yes it is YOURS as you have already gone to third base with it. B. Where in the hell did you find a picture of someone else's frog in their toilet? The Internet never ceases to amaze me. Cute frog though.
ReplyDeleteOMG! This is one of my worst fears (due to a rather creative Dean Koontz book) but instead of a frog, it's a snake. God, I can only imagine hearing that. *shudder* You lead the most interesting life....
ReplyDeleteGood call Shelly, the snake would be insanely horrific. I'll never forget the one and only time I went to camp and I was using the bathroom and an Alabama-big cockroach ran across the bathroom and over one of my feet. I almost lost my shit. Pun intended.
ReplyDeleteLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteOMG that is hilarious!!! Where on Earth did it come from? I'm so glad that you at least had the presence of mind to take a picture. It would not be nearly as funny!!!!
I'm wiping the tears away!
Oh ok. I'm stupid. That's not your toilet. I can read. Really. And comprehension is not completely out of my grasp either. But the picture does conjure a fascinating picture.
ReplyDeleteHey T-Cole! Take note of how Pissy posted this entry. One had to scroll down to see the picture after being warned. Not like your posts where I'm smacked in the face with a nasty picture of a huge insect! Yech.
Of course, I have no room to talk, but I do anyway! :)
AAAAHHHHHH!
ReplyDeleteThat is pretty freaky.
My sister found 3 baby possums in our toilet at home years ago. Luckily I wasn't around...but I couldn't use that bathroom in the house for weeks!
I can't believe you tried to flush it~
ReplyDeleteLMAO
ReplyDeleteLMAO, that's a first for me. I stopped by to see your HNT and a frog has done a guest appearance.
ReplyDeleteHappy HNT sweetie ;)
Pissy, this is really something for the record books. But I feel a little cheated at not seeing the actual frog in the actual toilet. Please go find it and put it back in the toilet and snap a picture.
ReplyDeleteIt is the least you can do.
Thank you.
serra: I know~right?!?!?
ReplyDeletenowhere girl: I am so honored ;-)
60: Holy shit! If that thing had actually TOUCHED me~I'd be in a rubber room somewhere!!!
limpy: Go for it! ;-)
I'd be laughing at you if it were the other way around!
jo-dee: too bad my frog wasn't around to get your fly! ;-)
phoenix: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Again~rubber room time for me if that had happened.
little p: Are you freakin' kidding me?!?!? I wasn't going back in that bathroom to take a picture of it!!!
I went to google images and there were TONS of pics of frogs in toilets.
And "my" frog wasn't cute like the one in the picture.
It was a big ugly mo' fo'!!!
Shelly: A SNAKE!!!!! God help me! I'd have died right there!
Seriously. I'm terrified of snakes!
reg: heh! we leave the glass door open for our dogs. This is the second frog I've seen in the house in as many weeks.
It's gonna be the last.
Molly: possums?!?!? Freaky!
Thank you for understanding why I won't be using that bathroom for a while....
Cynical girl: It was every man for himself in that bathroom.
I figured he could swim for all I cared!
she: heh!
suze: heh! Thanks! Happy HNT to you too!!! ;-)
hot lips: I ran screaming from the bathroom with both my dogs in hot pursuit.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't thinking about going back in that bathroom~much less taking a picture of the damn thing!!!
I made Sweet Man go get it.
He disposed of it by taking it outside.
I refuse to go look for it for you.
Besides, you know me.
I couldn't make this shit up!
So, um, you did your business on top of the frog and then he was hopping around your house? Ewwwwwww......
ReplyDeleteI would seriously have hit the ceiling if I had seen that.
Wait a minute...
ReplyDeleteHow do you know it didn't come OUT of you?
signgurl: this may be TMI, but I 'm thinking the frog was up inside the toilet somewhere and "came out" while I was sitting there, hung on to the side as long as he could,and then plop!
ReplyDeleteThe frog never left the toilet and got out into my house b/c I closed the lid on him. And then the door of the bathroom. the frog had to have been inside of the toilet all along....
Mr. Fab: I think I would have noticed if I'd "passed" a frog!
You're right. There are google images of frogs in toilets. Who the hell knew?
ReplyDeletecynical gir: there are google images of EVERYTHING! ;-)
ReplyDeleteI'm suspicious of the entire affair. I think you may have lost your mind. Please let me know when you've found it. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteYou've actually performed a public service here. I, for one, shall never sit down on a toilet again without first inspecting the bowl. So for that I thank you.
ReplyDeleteOMG that is funny Im sorry Pissy I dont mean to laugh but that is funny.
ReplyDeleteI think the frog was just thirsty and looking for a drink of water or looking for a suitable home for her to lay her eggs and start a family.
monk: No. It's still here.
ReplyDeleteNow....if that had been a SNAKE in the toilet.....THEN I would've lost my mind.
nonny: That's what I've been doing since it happened. And will continue to do henceforth. You are ever so welcome.
lori: You go ahead and laugh...I know it's funny! It just freaked me the hell out!!!
HER FAMILY!!!!
Shit! I didin't think of that!!!!
AIEEEEEEEE!!!!!
That is the fuckin funniest thing I have read all week! LMFAO!
ReplyDeletedoo dah: heh! Glad you liked it!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by! :)
That gives new meaning to, "I almost pissed myself."
ReplyDeleteGlad you survived! Amphibians should never find their way into toilets. It's that simple!
Oh geez, that would give me a potty complex for sure. Blech!
ReplyDeletebuddha girl: It really does give new meaning to that phrase! I still can't use that bathroom!! :(
ReplyDeleteatilla: Blech is right!
*FUCKING CRYING!!!!*
ReplyDeleteI can't breathe! Laughing too hard!
CP.
LOL! That was truly hysterical.
ReplyDeleteAwww but frogs are cute! (Okay, mayboe not so cute when unexpectedly hiding down the loo...)
cp: it wasn't funny at the time...I thought I was gonna die from a heart attack!!!!
ReplyDeleteBut it IS funny now! ;-)
newsbitch: this was more of a toad~not a cute little frog!!!! :(
Oh my Lord, I would have DIED. I am deathly afraid of frogs.
ReplyDeleteBut bitch that I am, I think it's funny that it happened to you. Or at least the way you tell it. Sorry 'bout that.
WHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
and for reg - you should have posted a smashed frog picture - she LOVES them!
=)
june: I just about did. Die, I mean. I did, however, scream like a little girl.
ReplyDeletecole: it's funny NOW~but at the time....not so much!
eeeeek!
ReplyDeletethis may be horrible to say, but i actually feel more sorry for the frog. he got pooped and/or pee'd on and then got repeatedly flushed til death did he part.
ReplyDeletepoor lil amphibian.
mckay: heh! I can understand how you'd feel that way. But at the time I was sooooooo freaked out that I couldn't think of anything else to do!
ReplyDeleteHe was never flushed though. My husband had to take him out of the toilet and put him outside.
See?
We were humane! :)
thanks for dropping by!