I WAS going to post about DNA testing in court today....

...and then I saw

THIS!

Good God!

This picture poses soooooo many questions....

1. Is she just trying to look like she doesn't give a shit that she forgot to wear the pants that go with this top?

2. Is she wearing panties?

3. If not, will they sterilize that bench she's sitting on when she gets up?

4. Do her feet stink inside those boots?

5. Is she scratching her boob?

6. Or putting it back inside her "dress"?

7. What's that thing around her neck?

8. Did she pay that guy to sit next to her?

O.k.

Your turn.

What did you think when you saw the picture?


*source: Bricks and Stones

The irony does not escape me....

I swear to GOD!

This book....

....was on the shelf of donated books in the library of the County Jail.

(I tested there today.)

*note* I apologize for the small-ish image. I know it's hard to read. It's the only one I could find.
The subtitle is "The Ultimate Handbook on Modern Etiquette".

Jeez!

I never knew that being cold caused people to be so cranky!

Moving on.....

I tested another 31 people today.....didn't finish until 3:30.

The "34 in four hours" yesterday is a record.

I tested 11 in an hour last Thursday.

I go to the jail this Friday to test two inmates and then to the county work release facility to collect one more.

Due to all of the above and factoring in all my ebay activity, I am treating myself to a pedicure in the morning and then Hair Guy is doing my hair right after that.

I must say....you can only collect DNA samples from so many people with horrible teeth, big ass tongue studs, mutiple poorly rendered tatoos and screaming babies~before you feel the most absolute urgent need to have a spa day.

I'm the one in the middle.

For all you people freezing your asses off.....

Geraniums in bloom on my patio~today!

one more.....

That's all I've got for today.

I tested 35 people in 4 hours today.

I am one tired old broad.....

More pictures from Saturday....

....because Little Pissy said it was o.k. to show y'all.


This is where the wedding will take place.

partial view of exterior of country club

anteroom outside of ballroom
we'll have the guestbook, etc. out here
partial view of ballroom

another view of the ballroom...
beyond those mirrored doors is the kitchen
(don'cha like how I managed to get the florist's ladder in the picture?)

we won't have the cakes in front of these windows

'cuz we'll need that room to DANCE!


Don't forget to watch HEROES tonight!

Saturday pictures

It's been decided that Little Pissy and her fiance will get married in Birmingham next year.....so off we went to view venues yesterday.

Little Pissy had a a schedule set for the entire day.

My little "Type A" child had even scheduled in lunch!

We visited seven different venues.....from a restaurant type of location....to a warehouse/loft space....to the most famous monument in Birmingham....to an exclusive country club....to a private club that could have come straight out of the 50's.

I took lots of pictures throughout the day and Sweet Man took some.

Here are a few:

View of Birmingham
Sweet Man took this picture.
I think it took some special talent to get that
tree EXACTLY in the middle of the picture.

Side view of Vulcan

view of patio area of Vulcan museum...

Outside the warehouse venue.
It was in the process of being decorated for a Mardi Gras fundraiser
to be held that night.
Taylor Hicks was to be the featured performer. Bleah!
Sweet Man took this extremely unflattering picture of me....
*sigh*
At least the "Jester" looks good.

Inside the Soho Sweet Shop....

homemade ice cream inside the Sweet Shop.

The country club was all set up for a wedding that evening..
this is the grooms cake/table

No, I snatch a piece of chocolate!

But I thought about it....

Funkytown

I did something today that I've never done before.

I totally forgot that I was supposed to be in Geneva (a town 45 minutes away) at 9:00 a.m. this morning to do DNA testing.

I was made aware of that when the phone rang at 9:00 a.m. and on the other end was a worker from Geneva Co. asking where I was.

Where was I?

I was at home.

In bed.

Asleep.

SHHHHHHIIIIIITTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!

I told her I'd be there at 10:00, and I managed to do just that.....but it wasn't pretty.

....And neither was I.