This.....THIS is what it's all about

Me snuggling with my sweet baby Dane.

I spent three hours with this little nugget today.

Holding him, talking to him, gazing at him, listening to the adorable little

sounds he makes while he sleeps.

He soothes my soul.

My brother is nuts

Seriously.

He is.

I have 3 brothers who all live in the San Antonio area. I haven't seen any of them in six years~since our father's funeral. I've been to Texas several times since then~to the Houston area to visit our brother who lives there. None of them has ever made the 4 hour drive to see me when I'm there. Okay...whatever.

So....when all this happened with Mike (and my marriage), I spoke to my brother, Charles, at length on the phone one Sunday afternoon. Long story short: we got online at the same time and checked flights...settled on a date for my visit...and I made my reservations later that evening. Sent Charles the flight info.

He was BEYOND thrilled. Ecstatic would be a better word. Full of plans...just really pumped. Talked about all the places we'd go and the relatives and old friends we'd see.

We'd already discussed that he would be closing on a new house (he hasn't sold his current one yet, but that's not an issue for him) around that time, and would move into his new house piece by piece...taking his time since he wasn't in a rush.

This afternoon I get an email from him telling me he'd need me to "postpone" my trip as it would interfere with his moving the week of my arrival. I was going to stay almost two weeks (at his prompting: when I'd first said I'd come for 5 t0 7 days, he said, "that's not long enough!") and his move would be the first week of my visit. He was "afraid he wouldn't have enough time to spend with me".

Ummmm....what?!?!?

After confirming with him by email that I would NOT be coming to visit, I got on the phone and computer....doing damage control on all the arrangements I'd made for my trip.

I have THE worst headache.

Thank goodness I also have trip insurance.

p.s. In case anyone is wondering: I hadn't made mentionto any of my other brothers about staying with them b/c Charles INSISTED that I stay with him the entire time~with the exception of the occasional day trip to visit other relatives/friends. I didn't feel right about calling any of them and inviting myself to stay at their homes at this late date.

p.s.s. Gracie has gas. That isn't helping. :(

YEAH, he does!!!

Dane Harrison Porter decided to make his appearance yesterday evening around 7:30 p.m. Eastern time.

Our sweet, sweet, SWEET baby weighs 9lbs 4 ozs and is 21 inches long.

He is absolutely perfect and wonderful and precious and I couldn't love him more.

Devon and Dane (and his daddy, Zach) are all doing well.

Thank you, God!!!!!

I'm starting to think this is true....

Really, y'all.

I think this is SO true!

Just because I say what I think and or "call people out" on their bullshit, I've always been considered sort of (or maybe more than "sort of") a bitch.

But I don't think I am.

Not really.

I've gotten MUCH better about attitude, etc since leaving the DA's office. Back then? Yeah, I probably WAS a bitch. The job sort of made me that way. Dealing with scum who wouldn't take responsibility for their children will do that to a person.

Since then I've mellowed quite a bit.

To the point that I don't even have road rage on a regular basis.

And anybody who's ever driven in Atlanta knows that's HUGE right there!!!

This bullshit divorce move that Mike made?

Yeah, it's left me broken hearted for my family and I was shell-shocked for awhile.

But I'm not being a bitch about it with him.

And God KNOWS I could be.

But what would be the point? I don't need the negativity in my life...the stress..the anger...all the crap. Instead I'm dealing with everything in my own way and with the help of wonderful, supportive friends (like y'all) and family....trying to get outdoors and enjoy this beautiful weather with my Gracie....spend time with Devon while we wait for Dane to make his appearance....cooking again and enjoying that....gardening...going to movies (Battle: Los Angeles was AWESOME! Made me wanna go out and join the Marines right then and there! ha!)...helping a friend decorate their new home....planning a trip to Texas.

Now y'all don't get nervous or anything: I'm not saying I can't be a bitch if circumstances call for it.

'Cuz y'all know I can. ;-)

Not yet.....

I'm saving y'alls emails about the blog going private. When I make the move (probably early next week) y'all will be the first to know.

Thanks for wanting to stay with me and for all the supportive emails.

Y'all rock hard!

Today is Devon's due date!!!

Let's all hope our little Dane decides to make his appearance today!!!!

Happy St. Paddy's Day!!!

Going private

I've decided....after all these years blogging....to take my blog private at this time.

Please send me at email if you'd like to continue reading.

Here's my email: nancyspradley@yahoo.com

Thanks!

xoxo

~Pissy

Just letting y'all know....

Thank you....really...thank you for the comments.

They mean so much to me.

That y'all are taking the time to write them and be supportive to me.

I truly appreciate it.

Nothing major has happened since my last posting.

As far as I know there aren't anymore bank accounts for him to clean out.

But then....I'd be the last one to know, right?

I haven't ruled out the services of a forensic accountant.

BUT...as I've said before...(or maybe I didn't...I tend to forget what I said since the bomb was dropped on me) : if he gives me what I want, we can get this over with sooner rather than later.

Emotionally....I think I'm doing somewhat better. I still cry at least once a day, or at least tear up....and I may for a long time. I'm not gonna try to stop that (I don't know that I could if I wanted to).

I think it's better to get it out.

Y'all....I know that I come across as a middle-aged, foul-mouthed, hard-ass bitch. And sure: I CAN be that.

But I'm also a middle-aged woman with a heart. A heart that is hurting at the way the man I've been married to for 19 years ( our anniversary is this month~nice irony there, Mike)...raised my daughters with....buried my father with....shared tears and heart rending pain at the death of two doggie family members with...shared all the joy and all the pain and all the hell that we've shared....that he could do this to me this way.

I know I'll get better...and the pain will lessen.

But right now.

Today.

It hurts.

p.s. I can't say that I don't deserve this. For those of you who don't know: Mike left his first wife (they were married 25 years) for me. You know how they say "what goes around, comes around"? It really does.

The acrimony of his first divorce has been the reason that we always said (once things started to fall apart for us) that OUR divorce wouldn't be that way.

It appears he forgot that part.