Hollywood Swingers

Did anybody watch the "Nip/Tuck" season finale?

Those writers are some sick muthafu*kers.

Damn I love that show....

If I'm not around much...

It's because my Christmas slash birthday present came early.

Pardon me while I teach myself how to use all the options it has.

Media Center tutorials~here I come!





















p.s. Thank you Jesus for the widescreen~y'all know I can't see for shit!

The youngest one there.....

I should has suspected something when Sweet Man said we were meeting at the restaurant for dinner at 5:00 p.m........

Sweet Man and I went to an anniversary dinner Saturday night for one of his best golf buddies and his wife.

It was their 45th anniversary.

Considering they were both 16 when they got married.....they're not that old. Relatively speaking....

We get to the large back booth where the party had been seated, and it looked like a scene from the movie 'Cocoon'.

Everyone....men and women alike~had gray or white hair. Well....the men who still had hair.










And the women! Serious polyester, granny hair, granny glasses....I'm talking Hallmark granny, y'all! Not the cool grandmothers you see on tv these days.











I was really shocked. I knew these people had older friends, but this old?!?!?

One couple there had been married 48 years.

Another couple had been married for 40 years and had 7 children, 17 grandchildren and 5 great-grandchildren.

The oldest lady there was married on December 7, 1941.

Pearl Harbor Day.

She was nineteen years old at the time.

I'm going to be 50 in a couple of weeks and for the first time in a long time.....I felt really young.

I want my dog's life.....

They start the day out thinking about sleeping....

sleeping deeply (while wearing a striped shirt)....
sleeping together...
(notice the words on the front of their bed)
sleeping in someone's arms....
and last but not least~
sleeping in the den before they go to bed for the night.

Adventures in DNA Collecting: Collecting in December SUCKS Edition

I probably shouldn't even post today because I'm exhausted....physically and mentally.

But since
I decided to post anyway.

I've come to the conclusion that DNA testing to determine paternity should be put on hold for the month of December....kinda like a Christmas cease-fire.

It's just too damn sad.

For the collector, anyway....

I've tested 35 people in the past two days....one of them in jail....in handcuffs and leg shackles.

*Depressing.....

A mother sitting across from me who is the same age as my youngest daughter-twenty four.

This 24 year old has an 8 year old, a 5 year old and a 7 month old baby.

All from different fathers.

Two of the children are black.

The one I tested today was hispanic.

The mother is white with long red hair.

*Depressing.....

I lost count of how many babies I tested today.

"Baby's First Christmas" shouldn't include being tested to determine who your daddy is....


The 13 year old girl who came in to be tested.....

Her "mom" tells her, "We'll test this guy and if he's not the one....we'll test the others."

*Depressing

I could go on and on, but you get the idea.

*sigh*

Only one more county to go....

Happy now?

I "decorated" for Christmas.

I bought this wreath and wreath stand today
and that was all I was gonna put out.

But y'all know me.....

(my pictures don't do it justice because I suck as a photographer)

One thing led to another, but I
only used stuff from one small box of
Christmas decorations that aren't in our storage unit....

entry way....
(I know I need to hang something underneath that picture,
but I haven't found just the right thing yet.)


Halltree in the small hallway leading down to the den.
I left this picture blurry intentionally
because there's a picture of Little Pissy on it,
but you still get the idea...

I even put a wreath on the fairy's head
and hung some "Joy" on the lampshade...

I also did a centerpiece for the dining room table,

but that picture was even worse than these.


I know.


Hard to believe, huh?


~and~


My freshly manicured hand....
just for the hell of it.

Yes I have a thumb on that hand.

It's just not pictured.

Trust me....it looks as good as my fingers.

"We're friends because, amazingly, you don't seem intimidated by my beauty"*

Whew! I'm tired!

I just spent an hour creating a gift registry for myself at Sephora.

Who knew picking out pricey cosmetics for one's self could be so much work?













My daughters said they wanted me to "make a Christmas list"~ so I did.

They may end up being sorry they asked.

....and now.....

from the sublime to the ridiculous:

I'm off to do DNA testing.



*message inside of card I gave Weeza