Looks like T.V. has hit a new low.....

I thought the state of the world was bad.....what with global warming, the price of gasoline, Wal-Mart being the only store in this Southern Hell hole I live in, Madonna being 40 freakin' 7 years old and still performing on stage in a leotard (I don't care how good she looks, that shit's just wrong), the whole "TomRat" extravaganza...y'all know what I mean.....

Then I read in the newspaper today that Mick Jagger has filmed scenes for an ABC comedy pilot.

Mick. Jagger. In. A. Sitcom.

How many times can I say "Ay Dios Mio!!!!!"?!?!?!?

This is just wrong on so many levels, I don't know where to begin.

So I won't.

I'm too distressed.

I've gotta go lay down now.

Y'all tell me what you think.

My friends are the best!

I don't know how many of you have checked out the blogs on my sidebar, but one of 'em that's listed belongs to my friend, t_cole. That's Cole's profile picture over on the right.....
Cole is not only lovely to look at with the most beautiful hair, she is also super smart, kind, spirited, funny as hell, loyal, a fantastic mother, a tremendous writer and a true "flower of the South".

I already knew I loved Cole for all of the above reasons and many more and then today I get this in the mail!!!!

PREZZIES!!!!

Aren't they just the cutest things?!?!? Cole knows me so well!
LOVE THEM!!!

I'm not showing y'all what's in the wrapped package...

That's for Tuesday.

And of course it's perfect.

Just like Cole.

Maybe "Dumb Ass " will be her new middle name....

It's all over the gossip sites today that the zombie-formerly-known as "Katie Holmes" will be changing her name. I first read about it here.

According to reports, Katie Holmes will be changing her name to Kate Holmes.

"Kate is a young girl's name....her name is Kate now; she's a child-bearing woman." .....this statement from her fiance, Tom Cruise.

Let's review the history of their short realtionship:

So far she's given up her career, her religion, her relationship with her family, all friends she had pre-Tom, any personal freedom she ever had, and now~her name.

Who would've thought "Joey Potter" could be so easily brainwashed?

How the mighty have fallen.....

I've posted before about how many gossip mags and blogs I read regularly.

I know....I know.....it's a sad waste of time....blah blah blah.....I like 'em. Shut up!

Anyway, I can't help but be fascinated in a "what-the-hell-have-you-DONE-to-yourself" kinda way whenever I see pictures of Britney Spears.

And when I read the stories????

Ay Dios Mio`!!!!!!

Today I say this picuture over at Perez Hilton

All I can say is:

WTF?!?!?!?

Perez calls it "Zitney Spears"

Juvenile?

Easy joke?

Yeah.

But I still laughed....

Tastefully Tacky T-shirt Tuesday: pre Cinco de Mayo Edition

Some of y'all have probably noticed that I haven't posted a new t-shirt in a few weeks.

Just haven't been feelin' it, if you know what I mean.

But I had this t-shirt that Suzie Q got for me last year; and since I think it's funny as hell, I decided to post it.




















BOILED GOAT!!!

GET YOU SOME!!!!


**This is from an actual restaurant here in Alabama...

Road Trip!

Just got back from my overnight road trip to Gulf Shores.

I went with my friend, "G", who drives a car identical to this one.

We drove the entire way there with the top down.

I used to have a convertible, but you couldn't hear yourself think~ much less carry on a conversation~with the top down.

Not this car, buddy!

We yakked the entire 3 and a half hour drive.

Gotta love that German engineering.

I was there for such a short time, that I only have a few photos to share. G doesn't know about my blog, so I had to be all "spy school" about taking pictures.

I missed some really good photo ops because of this~ but what are ya gonna do, right?

There was a GIANT statue of a chicken on the side of the road in one little town we went through.

Man, I hate that I missed that shot......

Anyhoo.....hope y'all like these!

My freshly manicured white feet!

It was a beautiful day......

absolutely gorgeous.....

and then I saw......

HER....

Ay Dios Mio!!!!

I know I'm overweight.

I'm thinking she probably knows she's overweight.

Why?

Why would she go out in public like this?!?!?!?!

I really felt it was my civic duty to issue a fashion citation on the spot~one chubby chick to another~ but I didn't want to embarrass her in front of her children.

I figured they were already embarrassed enough...

Of Pedicures and Peanut M & Ms.....

I decided that today was the day I was finally gonna get that mani-pedi I've so justly earned.

I went to a new nail salon here in hell. It's only been open 3 weeks so I was able to walk right in with no appointment, and attach my ass to one of those pedicure "thrones".

God I love those things.

And no, it does not bother me one tiny bit to have a strange Vietnamese man who speaks little-to-no English be intimate with my feet.

I don't give a shit what language you're bitching at your co-workers in if you're willing to pay special attention to my ashy-haven't-had-a -pedi-since February-feet.

As long as the "technician" speaks the "language of pedicures"~it's all good.

So I'm feeling that "after the mani-pedi glow" you know the one.....all relaxed and mellow....

and what do I do to spoil it?

Right.

I go to Wal-mart.

Apparently, my fellow Wal-Mart shoppers do not understand the concept of "10 items or less".

Good God, people!

They even have it posted "En Espanol"!

And in pictures for those unfortunates who are unable to read!

I was only there because I'm going out of town tomorrow and I wanted to pick up some travel-size toiletries.

And some chocolate.

You know you have to top off a mani-pedi with chocolate.

Or at least I do.

Anyway, I'm in the 10 items or less line for freakin' ever.

It's finally my turn.

There is no chocolate in this aisle!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

No way was I gonna get out of line to get chocolate. No matter how much I wanted it.

I'd suffered enough!

As I was walking dejectedly out of the store with my 10 items....but no chocolate......

I remembered this was in my purse.

My emergency stash of chocolate.

C'mon.

You know you have one too....

*big chocolate-covered sigh of relief*

Now my day was complete!