DNA Update!

I know y'all are just DYING to find out what happened with the lab.

What?

You're not?

Too bad!

Y'all know I tell every damn thing that happens in my life...why start holding back now?!!?!?

Yeah....so yesterday....I've just finished working out for 2 hours....eaten lunch....walking around Burke's to put off going to Wal-mart.

My phone rings. It's the lab.

Lab: "Pissy? You sound so much happier today! Not that I blame you for being so angry yesterday..."

Me: (laughing) "Hi!...Yeah, I'm happy...it's the endorphins...what's up?"

Lab: "Dale County just called. Supervisor must have thought about this all day. She's requested a new collector."

Me: (still laughing) "That's cool. Did you tell that fucking bitch that I wasn't going back there anyway?"

Lab: (laughing) "Now, Pissy......you know we couldn't tell her that! We did tell her, however, that you had told us what happened and that you'd given a different version than what she was telling us. "
Me: (not laughing anymore) "What the fuck?!?!? What did that dried up bitch say about me?!?!?"

Lab: "Now Pissy (they say that to me a lot).....it's not worth repeating. We didn't believe her anyway....but I WILL tell you that Supervisor said you'd gone out the back door to avoid testing the client. Of course we told her that wasn't possible, since you'd told us that you'd seen the client sitting in the lobby."

Me: "That goddamn muthafucking lying bitch! I don't even know where their goddamn back door IS!"

Lab: "Now Pissy (see?)......it's o.k. We wouldn't want you to go back to that county under these conditions anyway. Don't worry about it. We know she's lying. But she's our customer...we'll have to find her a new collector."

Me: "Good luck with that!"

Lab: (sighing) "I know! If you weren't good enough, who's going to make her happy? Jesus? Santa Claus?"

Me: (laughing) "Nah....that bitch would complain about Mother Teresa. I know this is politically incorrect~but y'all might want to consider finding a deaf-mute to take the job."

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So there you have it, kids....the official ending to my career as a DNA collection specialist.

Hope y'all have enjoyed the ride as much as I have!