I'm in this gift shop in downtown Hell Saturday afternoon. The one next door to my favorite homemade ice cream/sandwich shop (read: the only one in Hell). I've been stopping in the gift shop a lot this month because they have the cutest Halloween decorations and I keep hoping they'll put them on sale.
So, I'm standing there.... chatting with the woman who runs the place and the bored teenage girl who was unlucky enough to work this particular Saturday....I'm kinda looking at stuff, there are a couple of other shoppers looking around too.....
The woman who runs the place (let's just call her "Psycho")
says to me: "I'll let you have whichever of those ornaments you want if you'll let me have your car."
Me: "Huh?!?!?"
Psycho: (to the room at large) "She has the cutest car! We just love it!"
I should say that in downtown Hell, you can park right in front of the stores. That's how she knows what kind of car I have.
Me: (kinda laughing, but meaning it): "It'd take a lot more than these ornaments for me to hand over my car."
Psycho: (without missing a beat) "I thought of you the other night when I was watching that show Hereos.....remember that part where the cheerleader is on the autopsy table? Yeah, that part made me think of you!"
Me: "Huh?!?!? Why? Why would that remind you of me?!?!?"
Psycho: (to other shoppers) "She has the cutest car, y'all. Oh, don'cha love that doormat? I love it too!"
Me: "Ummmm....why did that autopsy scene remind you of me?
Psycho: "Oh, you know. Because you work with DNA".
*Click on the link. It works. I promise.
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Umm sounds like a nutjob, I hope you ran out of the store quickly, locking your car doors! haha. Nice story.
ReplyDeleteWe have little hellish shops like that too. I avoid them usually. They make me sickly. :)
ReplyDeleteUm. Wow.
ReplyDeleteRun. Fast.
Find a new place to shop, ASAP.
CP.
ReplyDeleteHa!
My kind of gal.
I mean...shame on her!
What the heck. She is off her rocker. I watch that show and you do not come to my mind at all. Crazy woman! But thinking about where you live, doesn't surprise me.
ReplyDeletephats: I thought so too! Crazy!
ReplyDeleteshopper: I normally don't go to them either. Now I remember why.... :)
cp: Not a problem!
hippo: I doubt that she would be your "kind of gal". Unless your kind of gal is a loon! ;-)
sunny: I watch the show too! That's why I kept asking her what the heck she was talking about!
Made NO sense at all!
What a weird thing to say to somebody! That would freak me out :)
ReplyDeletei think she's skipping her meds...i love heroes...and hiro the little japanese guy is my hero...he cracks me up...
ReplyDeletesamantha: It was just so bizarre!
ReplyDeletejackiesue: I love Hiro too! I want one of him to hang out with! ;-)
She sounds like she is Koo Koo cor coco puffs.
ReplyDeleteI am picturing the downtown square from "In the Heat of the Night" or is that too grandiose of an image I am conjuring up.
Man, I think it would be nice but maybe I would lose my mind.
Rat: go to the website below to see what we have in the middle of our downtown.
ReplyDeleteIt made Comedy Central a few years ago. ;-)
p.s. you'd probably loose your mind. :)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boll_Weevil_Monument
I was going to bust your chops for being such a chicken at my site, but I am WAY too busy laughing my ass off at the link.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing.
Too freaking hilarious!
rat: heheheheh!!! Told ya!
ReplyDeleteTo live here and not be from here, one must maintain a good sense of humor. ;-)
p.s. you KNOW I'm a big chicken. I thought we were clear on that!
we also park in front of stores..lol..I guess people who live in a big city cant imagine that. I would lock my car if I were you! lol, She sounds like looney toons to me.
ReplyDeleteCatch: It is hard for "big city" dwellers to imagine. :)
ReplyDeleteShe's certainly a weirdo. But I do think she's harmless.
She just likes the Pissymobile a little too much! lol
ReplyDeleteI'd still so totally date her.
Wow! This description you're giving sounds like what the rest of the world has the South stereotyped as.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I'm the psycho because that particular scene on Heroes DIDN'T remind me of you. But everytime the heroin addicted artist's eyes get all white and freaky, THEN I think of you ;)
ReplyDeleteHow did she go from car to cheerleader autopsy back to car in one complete thought???
ReplyDeleteBy the way...unless she has a donut for a brain, you look nothing like that character.
hippo: I'll see what I can do for you.... ;-)
ReplyDeletepud: we're not really all like that. It's just the ones who are that get all the attention. ;-)
Nonny: Is it because we both have black hair? ;-)
j r: I think she was able to go back and forth in one complete thought like that b/c she's crazy.
I know I don't! That's why I was so stunned when she said that!
She said it was because of the autopsy..... :(
Yeah.
I collect DNA on a swab....that would make you think of autopsy....
I think donut for a brain is a good description.
I've actually said stupid stuff like that. I don't even know where it comes from?! Guilty as charged.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't let get you too excited. :)
BID: Oh, I know she's harmless. A little kooky, but harmless. :)
ReplyDeleteWhat the hell?
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like she was just trying to be nice in a Bi-polar, awkward kind of way.
I know and usted to work with a guy that would do that sort of thing. He was always saying the wrong thing and leaving everyone feeling creeped out.
I order everything online now because on my tiny Island it seems that I cannot go anywhere without having to shake a bunch of hands like I am the damn mayor or something. Totally gets on my nerves.
I work with DNA too.
ReplyDeleteTee hee.
Wow, I've been told I say some random things, but that's really quite bizarre. Even I'm not that strange. Definitely stay away from that lady.
ReplyDeleteMaybe she put a spell on your car and a demon lives in the gas tank now and you need to have a priest perform an excorism. I can hook you up.
ReplyDeletewhat a weirdo!
ReplyDeleteOkay, that's just creepy. Too bad it's the only shop in hell.
ReplyDeleteew. She might as well have said, "gimme the keys or I will make sure you end up on an autopsy table." ;)
ReplyDeletep.s. dude, even in this [i]small[/i] big city, parking right in front of a downtown store is unheard of.
Loops. That tag wont work like that
ReplyDeleteSo,save pissy save the world.
ReplyDeletebostick: I think she was trying to be nice in a bi-polar, oddball way.
ReplyDeleteLiving in a small town has its advantages and definate disadvantages...
mist: I know.... ;-)
burreetoe: Everybody says random stuff, but this was just SO bizarre!
arcturus: Good to know!
justin: Yeah, she really is!
lady K: the shop is next to the only ice cream shop in Hell. Luckily there are other gift shops. :)
loops: she'll have to fight me to get the Pissymobile. Especially since I just put a new decal on the back windshield!
bostick: ;-)
fuzz: Yeah. That! ;-)
you make me laugh!
ReplyDeleteI love your posts.
thank you
tc
tc: You're so sweet! Glad I made you smile! :)
ReplyDelete