Top two moments in DNA testing.....

(I was gonna do three, but it was a slow day. )

Young black guy comes in alone....very friendly...chatty.....

I prefer people with this type of attitude over the ones who act like assholes, so I was friendly in return.

After this guy sits down and as I begin completing his paperwork, he says, "Can I ask you a question?"

Thinking he wants to know when his results will be back or how much the testing is going to cost, I say "Of course. What do you want to know?"

He says, "What are you mixed with?"

Over the years I've been asked more times than I can count~ "What are you?" in one form or another, but never "what are you mixed with?"

My response to him: "I'm not mixed with anything. I'm a 100% American of Mexican descent."

We continued to chat about my being Mexican-American and his difficulty in visiting with his child who was born on "6-6-06....so he has the mark of the beast...." (his words, not mine).

Then this guy wants to know if he can ask me another question.

How could I resist?

So he says, "How old are you?"

I reply, "Fifty."

He says, "For real?!?!? I never would have guessed! You've really done the maintenance!"

Are y'all as shocked as I was that he was even familiar with that term in regards to a woman's looks as well as actually saying it out loud?



Young woman comes in with her child.

The moment this woman begins to speak I remember her.

She's been in before.

She's mildly mentally retarded (seriously).

The woman rambles on and on while I complete her paperwork and asks me if I remember her from when she brought her other child in to be tested a few months ago.

I tell her I do remember her and ask if she was satisfied with the results.

She says, "Yeah, but I'm kinda worried about something."

I say, "What's that?"

"I just found out that my other baby daddy and this one's (pointing to the child with her) daddy are cousins. What does that make my kids?", she asks.

"Sisters", I tell her.

"Oh. O.k. Ya know.....those guys never told me they were cousins.....or I never woulda done it with both of 'em......and now they're in the same prison......hope they don't kill each other when they find out I done it with both of 'em."

Ummmm.....I didn't bother to tell her that they probably already know.