I'm sitting here in my office, at my desk, trying to work (yeah,right) when wham! It hits me.
The Ultimate Insult.
I had notice earlier when I glanced out my office door, that some skeezed-out-coke-smoking-derelict-looking guy wear a Hawaiian shirt of all things, was sitting at Unit Secretary's visitor's chair. He and Unit Secretary were chatting. Whatever.
My intercom rings. Its Unit Secretary sounding all giddy. She says "Pissy, guess what this guy just asked me?!?!" I'm thinking "where he can buy a new shirt?" But I'm trying to be less bitchy in '06, so I let it go. Instead I act interested and ask her what he said.
"He wanted to know if you are my MOTHER."
I'm currently considering the many different ways I could kill him. I'll keep you posted.
editor's note* I'm letting Unit Secretary live. She does all the work.
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Is he related to the redneck guy you saw at Wendy's?
ReplyDeletePhoenix: Hmmmmm, maybe....but aren't they ALL related?
ReplyDeleteThe guys shirt should say it all, STUPID! and lets add SLOW to that.
ReplyDeleteYou are a hot and young mama!
What escapes me is why she had to tell you. Biotch!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI can only surmise the man thought the secretary was Hot.He thought you were hotter and related to her but he really wanted to hit on you, someone of his own age group.
ReplyDeletehuh?
Sunny: Awwww... thank you SO much!
ReplyDeleteHe did look stupid, actually. Thing is, she and I look NOTHING alike! Aside from the fact that we're both female and were wearing cute glasses...
Besides, MY daughters are both beautiful (really~I'm not just saying it 'cuz they're mine~the ex was really good looking) and....lets just say Unit Secretary is a nice person.
Jenn: See above for the reason why she felt she had to tell me. She knows everybody thinks my daughters are beautiful (small town thing & she and Penguin went to HS together), so I'm sure she considers it a big compliment for her to be mistaken for one of my daughters. I don't. Ha!
tc: Sweet Man thinks he WAS hitting on Unit Secretary. And he probably was. She kind of looks his type. I, however, do not!!! :)
a friend of mine goes to a club with a group of women for a bachlorette party...they meet a few guys and one says to her "you must be the bride's mother"...she is only 6 years older than the bride...she said she nearly gutted him right there.
ReplyDeleteok. here's the plan...
ReplyDeletefind extremely competent, plain-looking replacement - then OFF Unit Secretary. she asked for it.
no, she begged for it.
tcole
Jerry: HA! I know EXACTLY how your friend felt! :)
ReplyDeleteI am totally with Jenn~ WHY in hell would she think you need to know this!!! How vain is she?!?!?
ReplyDeleteTC is on to something there, too...good angle there, TC!
t cole: if only I could....this DA brought this chick with him from his former position....she isn't going ANYWHERE-if you know what I mean. And she really does a good job. I think she thought I would be pleased or something. God knows why....
ReplyDeletePenguin: come on...you KNOW her. She freakin' LOVED it!
As for the guy...he looked more her type, if you know what I mean. I doubt he was interested in me at all. I use proper English when I speak. :)
sorry for the typos, I'm still not quite awake yet.
ReplyDeleteIf youy need a charactewr witness at your trial, I'm there for ya.. ;)
ReplyDeleteUnit Secretary clearly needs to get her head checked for (a) hanging out with such a sartorial disaster in the first place, and (b) not learning to keep her big fat pie hole shut tight. Get me the guy's name, Pissy, and I'll swim over there and bite him on the leg!
ReplyDeleteGood plan on keeping Unit, but I'm thinking a little passive aggressiveness is in order...after all why not put the FUN back in dysfunction?? :-)
Bruce: Thanks! I'll keep that in mind!!! :) Are you willing to do that for all my criminal activities???? hee hee..
ReplyDeleteRocky: Creepy guy was actually sitting there waiting for an appt. with the deferred prosecution officer. Although there was a time when he would have been here as Unit's lunch date...
HA HA! I'd let you bite him in the leg~but have you had your shots???
It's so funny that you mentioned puttting the fun back in dysfunctional. I actually have a magnet in my office that says that!!!...and you know what they say about "payback".
If you like, I'll tell one of my 'bad kids' about your experience, let said bad kid know my friend was disrespected (not good in Bad Kid World), and suggest that bad kid choke scabies boy who made the 'is that your mom' comment.
ReplyDeleteThat's all I've got tonight.