Part 2: The Day the Poop Ran Free

As the afternoon wore on, I developed a system....

I used the bathroom closest to the den.

I left the light on in said bathroom.

I left my slippers off. They slowed me down on my race to said bathroom.

While actually on the toilet, I'd look at magazines. I had 3 stacks going. One of mags I hadn't looked at yet. One of mags I had. And one of pages I'd torn out to keep.

By 5:00 when Sweet Man came home from playing golf, I had a pretty impressive stack of pages. And mags to discard.

Sweet Man wouldn't use the same bathroom I'd been using. He said he was afraid to mess up my "system". And did I need a librarian? Apparently everyone's a comedian when you're doing colonoscopy prep.

When I wasn't in the bathroom, I'd stand at the bar in the kitchen/den where the computer is, and surf blogs. I didn't want to sit down. My butt hurt. I should 've listened to Little P when she suggested a padded toilet seat.

Sweet Man was on the other side of the bar fixing his dinner. He'd pour my next round from the "jug-o-fun" and I'd drink it as fast as possible. Then I'd have a banana popsicle(fat free) chaser.

At times, Sweet Man would have to bring me the next "round" in the bathroom. I had to drink that vile concoction every 10-15 minutes. Sometimes I'd still be in the bathroom from the last time I'd drank it. I told y'all he was sweet. How many guys would come in to an enviornment like that?

By 8:00 I was pretty tired of drinking, running to the bathroom and poopin' water. When would it end? My poor dogs were so confused..... at first, they'd followed me everytime I went and waited outside the door. But by this time they'd smartened up. They watched the action from the couch in the den.

Finally by 9:30 I'd drank the last of it. I'd considered taking the now empty jug-o-fun out to the backyard and having a celebratory bonfire, but I was afraid to stray too far from the bathroom.

10:30: still poopin' water, but less frequently now. Every 15 minutes or so, rather than every 10. Yea!!!!

I'm scheduled to be at the Surgery Center at 8:00 tomorrow morning.

The fun continues.......



*editor's note* On the upside, I've lost 4 pounds since this morning.