S. O. S.
Currently being held hostage at the casa by 3 raccoons.
Raccoons first seen in carport of casa.
Scattered when discovered by Sweet Man and his son.
(Sweet Man thinks they may be rabid.)
Am under orders not to allow dogs out of house until raccoons are off premises.
One raccoon last seen climbing huge tree closet to front stoop (resting spot of Big Boy).
Location of other two raccoons unknown at this time.
Suspect they may be in league with frogs.
Please send help.
Geesh if it's not frogs, it's racoons!
ReplyDeleteI hope you get everything taken care of haha :) that racoon is cute in the picture
Buy a bb gun oops did I say that out loud, I guess I am the only one who has had the cops called on them for shooting a bb gun in city limits cause of racoon problem, supposedly you have to call animal control and they will set traps, my intention wasnt to kill them just scare them.
ReplyDeleteHi big Pissy,
ReplyDeleteThere are innumerable raccoons all over my neighborhood; they love to play on the roof at night, which makes a horrific racket and wrecks havoc on the shingles. My drain gutters fill up rapidly with raccoon poop and have to be scooped out periodically, which is an exceedingly unpleasant, odiferous job.
The raccoons have been known to attack and kill cats in my area, but I’ve never known them to go after dogs. People used to feed them, but that’s now illegal because their population was getting out of control. If you see the “bandits” during the day, it’s usually an indication that they’re sick (or rabid, as Sweet Man suggested). They’re basically nocturnal animals.
At least the raccoons can’t hide in your toilet!
Okay, here's the plan.
ReplyDeleteSmear peanut butter all over one of your dogs. Use the oldest one, or whichever one you like the least. Then, send him outside. When the raccoons come, whack them upside the head with Mandingo the Flamingo. That should scare them off and give you time to hose down the dog as well.
Or, you can always just hit them with snapped rubberbands. I bet they would hate that.
Or, tie them down and paint their little masks bright pink. That'll teach them!
CP.
I will send my guy over there, but they will end up really dead.
ReplyDeleteI think you should open a petting zoo. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI DONT KNOW WHO CP IS, BUT I LIKE THE WAY SHE(HE) THINKS...
ReplyDeleteexcept maybe smear peanut butter all over spouse and send him out side for bait... then let him whack em when they come after him..do we need to send supplies..?
Racoons carry canine distemper. They are bad news. Call local animal control.
ReplyDeleteI say this as a woman who puts out scraps to feed racoons, but I live in the woods.
Have Fab send over one or two of his lemurs. They'll soon get rid of them... afterwards you can just mail them back to him.
ReplyDeleteBWAHAHAHAHA! That frog the other day was my recon! I see they are in position! All part of my plan...
ReplyDeleteSaw your comment on "All the World's aq Stage". If you had included the words Dr John in that comment you would have goten 5 usless JC points. You already have 2 and the big drawing is coming. We invite you to join the JC points group. Every day at DR. John"s Fortress there is a link. Go that link and leave a comment with the words Dr. John in it and earn 5 points. Leave a comment on Dr. John's blog and earn two more. The Fortress is at. Fortresslinna.blogspot.com.
ReplyDeleteOooooo HATE raccoons!!
ReplyDeleteAt our last house, one morning... NW Guy placed his lunch on the roof of his car, while he placed a outgoing letter in the mailbox.
He turned around to see a raccoon sitting on his ass on TOP of the car, rolphing down his turkey sandwich!?
EVERY AM until we moved... he had a raccoon siting. THat same furry fucker waiting for NW GUy to carelessly abandon his lunch for a second.
~snicker~
SInce then, it has been war.
They are little shits. I hope that you aren't trapped for long...
The most we get round here are hedgehogs! I've taught my lil brother how to stroke them without hurting yourself, that was a fun hour!
ReplyDeletePissy, do you ever feel like you're living in a Hitchcock movie?
ReplyDeleteNext, it'll be the birds! :)
Fucking racoons. That's all I got today.
ReplyDelete(Token F Bomb. Just for you.)
First frogs now raccoons. It's a good thing you don't live in bear country.
ReplyDeletephats: I KNOW!
ReplyDeletelori: hmmmm.....BB gun....that's an idea. I guess I'll call animal control though.... bb gun would be faster!
miss litzi: raccoons on the roof? Raccoon poop in the gutters? I think YOU need the bb gun!
My smallest dog is about the size of a large cat. The son didn't think they were rabid~just hungry. We've never had any raccoons here at the casa in the 12 years we've lived here.... weird!
cp: How about I smear peanut butter all over Mr. Mandingo and use him as bait? He's been soooooo demanding lately. Being bait would bring him down a few notches.
Oh. But then I'd have to clean him up, wouldn't I? :(
shppgrl: well, ya know.....if your guy kills them and I don't see it happen? I'd be ok with that.
attilla: is there any $ in petting zoos? ;-)
yellowdog granny: cp is 'da bomb'! Do people still say that? Anyway, cp is super cool! You'd love her!
and...Sweet Man is a pretty big guy, I probably would need some supplies to totally cover him with peanut butter! ;-)
cynical girl: Canine distemper?!?!? Shit! I'm calling animal control in the morning!
dutchie: OOOOOHHHHH!!! Good idea! Bet raccoons HATE lemurs! Either that~or they'll mate! Either way~they'll go back to Mr. Fab!
katt: I suspected you all along....
dr john: I always leave comments at 'All the World's a Stage'...kc is on my blogroll!
Points?!?!?
nowhere girl: *lol* that is TOO funny! and your raccoons sound just a little too smart for me....
Animal control is being called tomorrow!
samantha: Hedgehogs? They are so cute! Never thought you'd be able to pet them! Who knew?
library mama: I was feeling that way last night!
and 'The Birds' is one of my favorite movies!
buddha girl: Thanks for your support.
and for the token 'F' bomb...I feel the love all the way down here in hell!
fuzzbox: shhhhh!!!! don't say that! they'll probably show up next! ;-)
I've heard stories of raccoons purposely tripping people and then hoardes of them coming out of nowhere to swarm and eat their human victims....SLOWLY!
ReplyDeletebut then again it COULD be just a story..LOL
hugs
tc
top cat: Jeez.....thanks a bunch, buddy! ;-)
ReplyDeleteHave you seen Over the Hedge? I bet they just want your junk food and soda.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeletePissy:
Your solution: Let the frogs and Racoons have a royal rumble. Then when one animal/amphibian is standing...you reward it by capture and removal.
I love raccoons, and we feed the ones around our house, but we don't have any animals that go outdoors, and we make sure the food is left well away from the house, out by the woods.
ReplyDeleteYeah, if they are hanging around the house that is not good. They are smart and very good problem solvers. You don't keep any dogfood outside do you? They LOVE dogfood.
Next it will be bats. How's your karma doin' - has someone cast the ten plagues upon you or something?
ReplyDeleteIM no help Pissy.. I have a ground hog who thinks he owns this place. Everyone tells me to shoot him but then I heard he had babies ( which would make him a she even though I call him Mr Groundhog) We have a yorkie who tries to go head to head with Mr G when she sees him out there. He suns himself in front of my garage. I have a privacy fence all around my backyard...he digs under it and gets in. I cant wait till he brings all his babies!
ReplyDeletejustin: No I haven't, but I want to!
ReplyDeleteHippo: I like it! Although, I feel that the raccoons would have an unfair advantage over the frogs....
mr fab: No dog food outside. Our dogs only go out for short periods of time and only when we're at home.
Sweet Man said if we see 'em again, I can call animal control....
monk: That thought has crossed my mind.....I'm sorta scared to think what could be next!
catch: that sounds like an extremely ballsy groundhog! Jeez!
have the babies shown up yet??? ;-)
ReplyDeleteHey! Don't count the frogs out. I saw a bullfrog eat a full sized bird. It was amazing!
Plus you're forgetting something.... If a raccoon ate a frog..it would die ;)
Wow. You sure have a lot of critters down there!
ReplyDeleteI don't like racoons. They scare me. Luckily, we don't have them here. But at least racoons aren't slimy and amphibian, which makes them one better than the frogs at least, right?
help's on the way !!! hang in there pal !!!
ReplyDelete;-)
Rabid Racoons!?! Wow! You are under attack!
ReplyDeleteAww they do look cute though.
ReplyDeleteWhat next? A herd of cows taking root on your lawn.
I see my voodoo doll is working... next week it's lizards.
ReplyDeletehippo: Really? A full-size bird?!?!?
ReplyDelete*shudder*
Erin: I KNOW! and what's up with your blog? I wasn't able to access it at all yesterday.... :(
KandyKane: Good to know you've got my back! ;-) and thanks for stopping by! :)
Pud: I'm calling animal control today!
Pixie: the way things are going here at the casa....probably....
little p: Et tu, 'lil p?
So far I haven't seen any critters around the new house, but that's probably because there are constantly trains crossing my backyard. That would scare any critter away!
ReplyDeleteSorry that you're having problems. Damn critters.
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